This is what I love. Drawing. Watercolors. Micron Pens. I love the process. Getting a seed of inspiration, sketching it, adding details, and using a little tiny paintbrush to complete it. As I worked on this painting last night, I was smiling to myself the whole time. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true.
I finished installing all my equipment last night and started to think about why I want to sell my artwork in the first place. Sure I have a dream of making enough money from my art so I can quit my job that I sort of hate but sometimes tolerate, yet it’s more than that. I want to spend my days doing something I love. I want to wake up in the morning (not night for the nightshift, thank you very much) and be excited for the day. To feel the possibility and purpose. This is my dream day: wake up, drink coffee(obviously), draw, paint, blog, fill orders, cook dinner, kiss (someday) husband at the door, go to bed excited to do it all over again. My days now are nothing like that: wake up, oh look its 3:00 in the afternoon, drink coffee (lots), paint if I am not too tired, make lunches for the day, kiss boyfriend at the door, spend ten hours standing, lifting things that are too heavy for me, dealing with difficult people, jamming earplugs in my ears to block out the noise, go to bed exhausted and wait for the weekend.
I’m sharing this because I think many people feel this way. We are living inside lives that don’t even feel like they belong to us. I really believe, and learned the hard way many times, that we create our lives with our thoughts, actions, and beliefs. For a long time I felt really trapped by my own thoughts. I felt stuck not only creatively and in my job, but every area of my life. Not to say that I have it all figured out now, but something clicked in me a few months ago and I had I guess what you could call a breakthrough (or as Oprah would say and “Ah ha” moment). I realized I am not stuck. I have the choice everyday how I want to live my life. I am not where I want to be right in this moment, but I am getting there. Each step I take gets me a little bit closer.
Since I really committed to the idea of opening an Etsy shop, which has been my dream for a long time, everything else in my life has gotten better. I feel happier and more like myself. So even though I still wake up and most things look the same, I know they aren’t. I know I am walking, no matter how slowly, towards my dream life. And you better believe there will come a day when I am living inside of it.